You can read it all here. It did not get much traction among the RC Bishops -- but it did get some headlines in the press. As you may guess, the media thought it good and helpful. The RCC not so much.
Unsolicited advice is often worth about as much as a bad cup of coffee. In this case it is worth less than that. Chilstrom's point seems to be that if you only knew gay and lesbian people, you would give up your opposition to homosexual marriage. In other words, he is saying that it is because we do not know gay or lesbian people that we do not like them and therefore are treating them so poorly.
This is perhaps the saddest day in Chilstrom's career. It is time for someone who cares for him to suggest that he simply be quiet. I know that will not happen but his letter is juvenile and embarrassing. I am not sure that many have ever suggested that the Church's opposition to gay and lesbian marriage is because we do not know or like gay or lesbian people. Knowing or liking homosexuals has nothing to do whatsoever with the traditional stance of the Church against all forms of pre or extra marital sex. Knowing or liking homosexuals has nothing whatsoever to do with the Church's opposition to the legalization or re-definition of marriage to include gays, lesbians, and whoever else feels themselves oppressed minorities. It is a lie that keeps getting raised up over and over again -- usually by the proponents of gay and lesbian marriage -- that opposition to this is because we do not like gay or lesbian people.
It is because we LOVE gays and lesbians that we will not be moved. Love is not tacit acceptance of that which we know is wrong and in conflict with the Word of God. Love is not tolerance for diverse points of view when that means the truth is silenced or relegated to the status of one of many truths. Love is not condoning wrong that betrays God's creative intention and will and deprives us of the gift that is family.
I remember watching a show talking about the movie awards and a comment was made about a gay actor and his wardrobe, uh, malfunction. The commenter suggested that this many could not really be gay because no gay man would ever go out in public looking like that. We cannot say we love someone if we are willing to silence the truth for the sake of feelings. It is because of love that the Church stands up for marriage and family by God's design. It is because of love that the Church refuses to change the rules simply because of the change in culture (for the moment). Love requires truth -- sometimes the hard truth -- but it is a truth designed not to exclude but to proclaim positively who God is and what it means to be made in His image (though it is shattered, distorted, and broken by sin we bear that image and the truth of our creation is not negated by the damage done to us by sin and its death).
Now, it is loveless and bigotry that the Church tends to overlook the sins of the straight people (fornication and extra marital sex) in order to focus upon the sins of a few (and, no matter what anybody says, gays and lesbians are a very, very small minority). I will admit that when we single out gays and lesbians and refrain from speaking to the larger problem of straight people shacking up, acting promiscuously, and disdaining the gift and blessing of marriage, we are being loveless and hypocrites. But the solution is not to silence what we say to gays and lesbians. The answer lies in proclaiming the same truth to all -- chastity in singleness and fidelity in marriage. Period.
I remember as a child being told by my mother to try those giant lima beans she cooked. If I only tried them, I would like them. I tried them and I thought I was going to die. I tried them and I still hate them. To treat gays and lesbians the same way we treat foods that might have an acquired taste is an affront to gays and lesbians and signals that we do not love them with the steadfast and enduring love of God in Christ. This love does not confuse affection with truth. This love speaks to us the hard word of repentance that we may know the sweet word of forgiveness. This is the Word of God for gays, lesbians, straights, and however else someone might identify him or herself. Love can do no less than to speak this this truth completely and wholly, without adjustment or selective in its reach. This is the truth that saves and love can do no less than to speak it for the salvation of all who will hear it.
BTW that horrible excuse for a Baptist Church in Kansas and others who demonize gays and lesbians only hurt the cause of the truth and give to the media and those against the Church fodder for the lie that it is about love and not about truth...