Leave it to David Scaer to say the provocative and pithy. In this case, his words are not just a marvel of truth but directive to the problems so often faced in congregations. Lets get good works out of the church and into the world where they belong. Indeed.
A while ago I listened to a hurting soul complain that they church had not been there during the worst any parent could face, the death of a child. The pastor did not visit, the church did not seem to care, and, the best ministry that person received was from people not even associated with a church, or at least a Lutheran one, the peers from that person's workplace. This had happened before I became pastor and yet I took it personally. I inquired since the person was well connected to the congregation. Did no one from the congregation visit, bring food, ask how they might help, write a card, offer support, shed tears, pray for you, etc? Well, yes, they did but the church did nothing and the pastor did not do much at all. Therein lies the problem. The church is ONLY what the pastor does and only what the congregation does as an organized whole and not what individual Christians do as part of that body.
This is especially true when it comes to good works. Some in my parish complain that we are not doing as much as we should (is that ever not true?) in the community. When I begin mentioning what is done, the complaint is that much of that is not being done by the church but individual Christians within the church. In other words, it only counts what is done by the collective whole working together and the good works of individual Christians are separate. They look at the budget to find out what the church is doing and they see most of that budget particular to the work of the planting, nurturing, and growing the Kingdom -- missions in district and synod, mission to a sister group in Africa, teaching and learning the Word, worship, etc... Yes, there is also money for the soup kitchen, cooperative financial aid for poor, money to support those who cannot afford counseling, etc... but these are not enough. They complain that the church is not doing enough good works in the community.
They are wrong. The good works the church is doing include the good works individual Christians are doing who belong to that community of faith. The fruit of their life together in Word and Sacrament IS reflected in their good works on behalf of neighbor. It is an artificial and foolish distinction to separate out what the church does as a community working together (largely budget) from what the church does as individual Christians in the world. David Scaer has it right and it also applies to the way we judge the work of the church in the community -- good works are the fruit of the individual's life in the Word and nourished by the Table of the Lord and this is the work ONLY the church can do. Without this good work of the means of grace, the good works that flow from faith will not flow to neighbor.
I am not sure when the good works of the church became identified solely with budget and the programs of the community but it is not a good thing. I am not sure when people began to make a distinction between what was done by the church as a whole and the church as individual Christians fulfilling their baptismal calling in the world, but it is not a good thing. We need to reverse this false perception of the good done by the church and the good done by the Christian. ONLY the church can and will do the good of teaching the doctrine of that Word, preaching that Word, baptizing, nurturing the faith, setting the Lord's Table, hearing confession, and equipping the baptized to live out their vocation in the world. UNLESS the church does that which only the church does, there will be few good works happening to benefit neighbor, few words of witness spoken to family, friends, co-workers, and strangers, and few actions of love toward those in need.
So my friend is wrong. They may not have gotten all they wanted from the pastor and they may being carrying that wound for a long time, but they are not correct when they said the church was not there for them. Their brothers and sisters in the faith were there -- doing what Christians do when they cannot make the hurt go away. They bear the burden with the wounded, feed and console, sit in silence, do what can be done while grief holds the wounded frozen in pain, and remind them of the hope that is in them. And that is how it should be. I expect, that is exactly how it is. I see it in my own parish, have experienced it in my own grief, and encourage it as best I can for this is how and where the people of God manifest their faith amid the family of faith and in the world.
I understand your parishioner’s complaint because I have buried two children and a husband. A few months ago, I was listening to John Kleinig in a video at the DOXOLOGY website where he was speaking mainly to pastors. During the Q & A there was grumbling about the liberals within the LCMS. Kleinig made an interesting comment in response; one that seemed to go over their heads. It did not go over my head; it hit the mark. Kleinig said: the danger for us orthodox is that we end up acting like Job’s friends. If you will heed Kleinig’s warning, then you will understand your parishioner’s complaint. It’s painful when Job’s friends show up.
ReplyDeleteYes, it is true that some conservatives seem to value purity of doctrine more than love and care for their people but could it equally be that the pain of loss is so great that there is no consolation? I have heard from many and experienced it myself that loss creates almost a frozen heart and head in which there is little that can really be done except to be with the hurting. And to watch for the opportunity to begin the healing power of the Word as hope rebuilds what is broken. As a pastor I ask the grieving all the time how they are doing and in nearly every case they say "fine". Even when pressed it is hard for some to admit that they are still hurting. So we have pastors who are insulated from the hurts of their people but we also have people who re insulated by their hurts from the pastoral care of their ministers. That is why death is too serious to be left to a good story, a smile, and a celebration of life.
ReplyDeleteRe: “Yes, it is true that some conservatives seem to value purity of doctrine more than love and care for their people but could it equally be that the pain of loss is so great that there is no consolation?”
ReplyDeleteIt’s not a matter of doctrine vs love and care, or the depth of the loss. The matter is the danger of being Job’s friends. When you understand that dynamic, you will be halfway there. I would recommend that you never “press” people to reveal their anguish for you. That you would “press” someone reveals a lack of understanding and the danger of being Job’s friend. Study Job and learn why His friends needed to be forgiven.
Anonymous 1&3,
ReplyDeleteWithout detracting from your point, it seems a bit presumptuous to say that Kleinig's point went over their heads (a room full of pastors), and you alone have escaped to tell us.
Sure, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite were not perfect counselors or comforters. Who is aside from the Paraclete? I'm not convinced that any of us can entirely avoid "being Job's friends" in such a situation, unless we don't even attempt to be there.
"And they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads toward heaven. And they sat with [Job] on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great."
Who would even do this among us? Rather, we bring out the "comfort dogs". Surely, they will not speak an unseemly word to the grieving.
“...it seems a bit presumptuous to say that Kleinig's point went over their heads (a room full of pastors), and you alone have escaped to tell us.”
ReplyDeleteInteresting. When it you write “it seems” did you mean what I meant when I wrote “it seemed?” If so, We both meant it gave the appearance of... which is a fair way to express our impressions.
The snarky ending to your sentence speaks volumes. It is your loss to think someone who has buried 2 children and a husband, with a funeral around every four years, and informed by spending a lot of time with others bereaved of their children or spouse... cant read body language and doesn’t have thoughts worth considering about pastors.
“[Job’s friends] were not perfect counselors or comforters. Who is aside from the Paraclete? I'm not convinced that any of us can entirely avoid "being Job's friends" in such a situation, unless we don't even attempt to be there.”
The Catholics have a great way of describing that pastoral attitude: Sacrament Dispenser.
“[Job 2 reference] Who would even do this among us? Rather, we bring out the "comfort dogs". Surely, they will not speak an unseemly word to the grieving.”
Ahhh... apparently you have no clue how much unseemly speech the bereaved endure and forgive. Neither do you appear to think it important to learn to be a mensch. Read Job 42:7-9 and look up the scriptures regarding widows and orphans. God is not indifferent in these matters.
I would like to understand the Anonymous person here who is grievously suffering. I do not understand her. Can you please help us understand you?
ReplyDeleteCan you tell us what the "unseemly speech" was? What did you want or hope to hear?
Please let us understand your pain. We will both learn and grieve with you as a sister in Christ.
I grieve with you already. I'd like to understand more.
Rev. Paul McCain
@Rev. Paul McCain
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your concern, but I am long past grievous suffering, The deaths in my family were 1981, 1994, and 1997. I’ve thought quite a bit before replying to you and believe it best to let whoever would hear John Kleinig’s warning hear it. It’s doesn’t appear to be an understandable warning here.
I'm sorry, I honestly do not understand what you are talking about, if you care to share details to help us all understand you better, that would be ok, but simply asking us to understand what "acting like Job's friends" mean is not helpful.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean? What do you want us to understand from that comment?
Rev. P.T. McCain
Anonymous 5,
ReplyDeleteFor the record, I am not a pastor.
I wish I could say I intended no snark, but it's not true. I'm sorry for that.
Of course I don't think you "cant read body language and doesn’t have thoughts worth considering about pastors"
I can see that you are still hurt by something(s) that happened. I felt that your post was an attack on pastors and rereading it, it certainly comes across that way. I ask that you would also consider the burden that our shepherds shoulder often without thanks. A pastor is sometimes required to speak unseemly truths. They certainly also sometimes speak with sinful pride or intent. And they are not all the best at dealing with these situations. But i hope you will remember that they will not be able to comfort anyone perfectly. That is my point.
About the "sacrament dispenser" comment. Again I am not a pastor. You certainly may have been sinned against by a pastor in your grief. May the Lord help us forgive.
I will pray for you, for those in the Holy Ministry to be wise and discerning to those under their care, especially those with unspeakable grief, and for myself, that I may comfort others as Christ would. Blessed Lent to you.
To the anonymous poster.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if you have read my final paragraph. My point is to say that "the church" is not an institution or even the pastor but the people of God doing what their baptismal vocation has called and equipped them to do. I am not sure how this got to be about the pastor and his failings -- indeed, the whole point of the post was to get past this. I do regret your suffering and, while I would not call the failings of your pastor sinful, they were clearly a neglect of his calling. Yet no pastor is alone in providing love, support, and hope to the hurting and grieving. I pray for those who have suffered as you have and I pray that their fellow members in the Body of Christ may care for them as God wills and desires even as their pastors care for them according to their calling. Unspeakable grief is a burden not only on those who suffer but also on those who attempt to care for them as brothers and sisters in Christ. It is a slow and careful process of healing and one that requires both pastor and people to extend together the love that bears one another's burdens and so fulfills the law of love.
Anonymous wrote:
ReplyDelete"Kleinig said: the danger for us orthodox is that we end up acting like Job’s friends. If you will heed Kleinig’s warning, then you will understand your parishioner’s complaint. It’s painful when Job’s friends show up."
I understand that Job's friends had sinned, but what exactly were their sins? I would love to see an itemized breakdown of the things they said to Job that were wrong. What could they have said to Job that made God so angry? All I see is that they were trying to give advice to their friend.