It has been gnawing on me. . .

I thought I might skip the whole spectacle of the Oprah interview with the not so royal royals.  But there is one small detail that bears a few words.  In the interview the Sussexes disclosed the secret that “three days before our wedding, we got married; no one knows that.”  “We called the archbishop and we just said, ‘Look, this thing, this spectacle is for the world but we want our union between us,’” Meghan explained. “So, the vows that we have framed in our room are just the two of us in our back yard with the archbishop of Canterbury.”

Meghan seemed pretty proud of the fact that their royal wedding was a media circus -- a made for TV event (unlike, by the way, the other royal weddings).  It leaves a really bad taste in my mouth that the Archbishop of Canterbury would agree to such a thing.  I will admit I do not have any great esteem for Justin Welby and presume that he was between a rock and a hard place, but that is the kind of thing that should show the character of a man.  As far as I know, nothing was known of this prior to the interview and he had sort of gotten away of the entitlement complex of Harry and Meghan.  Now it appears he gave a churchly sanction to this most unchurchly event.  It is not kosher according to the rules of the Church of England but, if you are the Archbishop, perhaps you can break a rule or two (or maybe because you are the Archbishop you should no

Lambeth Palace isn't saying a word.  The archbishop, of course, has no comment.  Whatever took place in that garden was a “private matter.”  Except that is it not.  No wedding is private matter, not for the couple or the pastor presiding or the church or the state. The blessed “union” between husband and wife is not and can never be just “between us.” At what point did Justin Welby forget this and when did he decide to say "yes" to some spoiled royals rather than due his duty and tell them and the whole world that a wedding is not a private matter but the most public of events (no matter how many or few folks attend).  When, in 2005, Prince Charles decided to make an honest woman of his mistress Camilla Parker-Bowles, the church politely deferred. Charles had, by that time, been able to slide by as a widower in the eyes of the church, but there was no way to overlook the fact that Camilla was a divorcée. For the even more royal couple it meant that had little choice but to head to the registry office in Windsor for a civil wedding.  Yes, they did have a blessing of sorts when Dr. Rowan Williams, then archbishop of Canterbury, said some nice words and prayed for them.  Fortunately, the Duchess of Sussex, also a divorcée, benefited from the 2005 change in the rules.

If marriage were only a private matter, then what would be the big deal of opening marriage to any combination of man, woman, or other gender?  If marriage were only a private matter, why would divorce itself matter?  But who gets married matters precisely because it is the most public of estates.  And divorce matters because marriage does.  Except when you have some entitled royals who think that the public event is nothing and the private matter is the only thing.  Suffice it to say, that it does not do much for any local pastor trying to retain some integrity to the whole issue in the face of so many challenges and preferences seeking to be the final word

Pastors deal all the time with couples who do not want to be married before God with His blessing but who do want a nice photo shoot, a celebration for their families, and a memory.  Pastors deal all the time with parents who drag their children to a church wedding after they have lived together for years, had children out of wedlock, but who believe that the magic of Christian service will fix all these problems.  Pastors deal all the time with couples who are not all that Christian and who want to take over the liturgy and define the rite to fit their preferences with God but a bystander, like the pastor, expected to show up and do His part and then disappear (with an honorarium to purchase His integrity).  Justin Welby has not done us any favors and it is no wonder he has no comment.

As far as these rather common royals go, I am suspicious of people who say they want to be left alone and then court powerful media figures to tell their story.  I also am weary of those who say the perks are not worth it but complain that now they have to pay for their own security.  I am genuinely offended by those who think that the rules of the Church count for others but not them.  Finding out they conned the old man of Lambeth into their own exploitation of the public, does not make anyone look any better.  I had hoped, like most folks, that marriage might make Harry grow up.  Instead, both of them have only acted more like the children they obviously are.