The Forty-Four. . .

Forty-four years ago today I stood in the chancel waiting for a beautiful woman to walk down the aisle and begin a new chapter in both our lives.  The processional hymn was "In Thee Is Gladness," the presider was the Rev. Charles Evanson, the vested deacon was the Rev. Gary Frank, and the setting was Redeemer Lutheran Church, Ft. Wayne, IN.  Following the Liturgy of the Word, vows were spoken and rings exchanged.  Then the congregation sang "Now Thank We All Our God."  We received the Sacrament of Holy Communion together as husband and wife for the first time.  And then we recessed to greet the family and guests before heading down to the Fellowship Room for a reception.

I thought I knew everything.  But the reality was that on that day I had no real idea what marriage was, what it meant to be husband to this woman, or for her to be wife to me.  Love was untried and untested, filled with expectation but without any track record.  I was fortunate.  The woman I married was first my friend before she became my love.  I trusted her with everything, I valued her companionship as the best friend a person could have, I promised to loved her as best I knew what love was, and I learned to care for her more than my life.  In the forty-four years of life together love was learned through many tests and trials, many joys and many sorrows, many moves and changes, but what has not changed is my belief that she was and is the best choice and decision I have ever made.  I know a bit more about what marriage is, what it means for me to be husband to her and for her to be wife to me.  I trust more than ever, I delight in being with her every moment, I love her more than life, and I care for her more than I ever knew I could care.  And that is what love is -- burdens shared, sorrows comforted, trials faced together, joys and laughter untold, honest conversation of the hardest things to speak, faith grounded and united in God, so much so that I cannot think of me without her...   

This is not one of the big anniversaries -- the ones that have numbers or special colors on the cards and gifts.  It is one easily overlooked.  But so are the things that make a marriage and make it endure.  They are not the big things that compel you as much as the daily things that become richer because they are shared.  The times are different now.  The home is without children (as it was when we began).  There are a couple of grandchildren to delight us.  There is only one parent left (my mother) so we have become the elder generations on both sides of the family.  As much as I thought I knew everything forty-four years ago, I have learned more than I could have imagined about her, about what it means to love and be loved, about the resilience we did not know we had for the worst of times and about the best of times that can be bested by the better times still to come.

Thanks be to God for her and Happy Anniversary to my one and only beloved!