I
grew up in a small town in Nebraska, surrounded by extended family and
friends. Nowhere is this idyllic image of small town America more
powerful than during holidays like Thanksgiving. Even though my family
was small, two boys and my parents, we were a large group gathered
around the table at every special event or holy day. Actually, until
more recent history, that meant some of us were not at the table per se but at
TV trays or holding plates on our laps sitting on the stairs. But that
is fodder for another post...
Whether or not we actually tried to mimic the famous Norman Rockwell
painting of Thanksgiving Day in America, we did strive to reflect the
values of that powerful image. There was food in abundance reflecting
the abundance of a rich and resourceful land -- the very reason for
Thanksgiving was to give thanks for national blessings upon us as
Americans. There were people of all ages around the table reflecting
the extended family gathered together in one place and the familial
building block of American history, culture and life. There were images
of our prosperity but it was a humble image and reflected the values of
humility and deference that were inherent to a Swedish-German town on
the prairie (and to America as a whole -- at least a couple of
generations ago. There was the picture of politeness and nice manners
as a family sat calm and patient waiting for the food to be served, the
prayer to be prayed, and the pecking order of respect to be observed.
There was a sense of roles and responsibilities that made it clear we
knew who we were and we were comfortable with who we were (women cooked
and set the table and men worked and brought home the bacon -- not in a
sexist sense but as people who learned from their past and grew into the
roles and responsibilities defined more by servant roles than authority
or dominion).
In conversations I heard about the folks who are eating out today (some
by choice and not because of lack of family or friends who issued
invitations). I listened to those who eschewed the familiar turkey,
stuffing, and pumpkin pie in favor of pork loin and a ton of other
alternatives as they make the holiday their own. I know about families
divided by miles and intention for whom Thanksgiving is no reunion
event. Some of these are military families in my parish but many of
them reflect the diaspora of our modern day world where distance is not
only a reality but a choice made against the values of community and
closeness that once defined us. I thought about the many single who had
no family even as I spoke to my middle son who lives out of state and
who will not be at my table (though he will be with his grandparents and
extended family). I could go on...
My point is this. Rockwell's American Thanksgiving is not just an image
of the past, it is a past which many in America are intent upon
rejecting (either formally or informally). We have become a culture at
war against who we were, whether we understand it this way or not. I
once thought that Rockwell's Thanksgiving remained the desire of people
even though they had to live with limitations and the deficiencies of a
circumstance in which parents and grandparents were not local and jobs
and cultural mobility tended to isolate people. I don't think so
anymore. I think for many Americans, our Thanksgiving traditions
reflect a rejection of the Rockwell era. Family is more and more me and
the person I live with. The kitchen is a beautiful and well equipped
place where we heat up food made by others. Family are folks you call a
couple of times a year but not people you live with or even want to
live near. Marriage is struggling as much because we are not so sure we
desire to be married as it is because of other factors. Roles are
confused and conflicted as much because we refuse and reject the old
patterns as it is because of necessity or circumstances.
Responsibilities are forced upon us but we bristle at the imposition of
thinking about or serving others.
If Rockwell were painting today, would he paint a picture of people
camped out for the bargains early Friday morning? The interesting thing
about this picture, is that we are shopping as much for ourselves as we
are for others in those early morning bargain hunting expeditions on
Black Friday. I am concerned about this -- not so much concerned about
those who find their Rockwell holiday impaired by circumstances beyond
their control as I am those who no longer see the importance of the
values of family, community, responsibility, and humility. We are
uncomfortable in our old skins and still not comfortable in the changing
skin of the day but we are determined not to go back, never to go back.
It is no wonder that the Church is more and more out of step with our
culture and the patterns of the world around us. We continue to speak
of family, community, responsibility, unity, and humility as these gifts
and this pattern of new life flow from Christ -- but we are speaking to
people who have embraced the values of me, individuality, diversity,
difference, license, and aggressiveness. We have come to like a culture
of vulgarity, crudity, and self-interest and this not only mars the old
portrait of Thanksgiving, it has created a very difficult barrier to
speaking the Gospel in our world not convinced that there is anything
wrong with the direction of life and culture.
I did not mean this to be such a downer... but thought I would share a
few thoughts as my own family is separated by many miles and even by the demands upon those who live near as we try to live out the Rockwell Thanksgiving still. . .
1 comment:
I agree with most of what you said here, but to be honest, even though we look with nostalgia back to the Rockwell depiction of Thanksgiving, there were still hard times and family dysfunction in the old days as well. Many folks during the 1950’s in our small seaside village on Long Island’s north shore were struggling financially, and there were families in trouble with some of the issues we see today. But as Christians, we are called to be thankful for the things God has generously given to us, and to this land. I saw a video recently about how German POW’s, about 200,000, were sent to America to POW camps, some in upstate New York, many to Texas and California, where they worked on farms and ranches. Many of the prisoners were women, as well as men, who served in the German army, and being captured, the war was over for them. They expected to be treated harshly by the Americans, as 3rd Reich propaganda painted a nightmarish image of those who became American prisoners. But what they experienced was unexpected. They found American farmers and ranchers to be hard working and fair minded, and neither cruel nor oppressive. They were expected to work, but were fed well, joined in entertainment and camp activities, and used their own skills to improve their lives in captivity. The abundance and variety of food served generally, and especially on Thanksgiving and Christmas astounded the prisoners. They also found that Christianity was seriously practiced and they joined in worship services, prayers, and the singing of hymns. Many learned to speak in English. In short, both male and female prisoners were exposed to the good will of the American people. While they expected to be mistreated, they were generally not. Many were shocked to work at farms run by German speaking American farmers who had emigrated decades earlier. It was said that they learned that many of the bad things told by the propaganda ministry of the Reich about Americans were lies. During the 1970’s I met some former German POW’s in Brooklyn, who settled in America. They were grateful for the way they were treated, and appreciated America as their new home. I think that despite the suffering and tribulations of this world, we must remain grateful and gracious, with reverence toward God. A blessed Thanksgiving to everyone. Soli Deo Gloria
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