Childhood or childishness. . .

Let me begin by saying that this is not strictly about dress.  I put this out there because there will always be somebody who moans when I bring up this subject and the rest of you tell me to shut up because, no matter what they wear, at least they are in church.  But this is not simply about the clothing.  It is about the meaning of what we wear.  Please do not tell me the lie that what we wear has no connection to who we are or think ourselves to be or how we see ourselves.  If it were simply about convenience and casual comfort, we would still be in diapers or pull-ups.  So spare me the sanctimonious comments and listen.

We live in an age in which youth is valued over age, childishness over maturity, and whim over discipline.  I am not the first or the wisest or the most common observer of the times to make this judgment.  It is something even those who radically disagree with me over just about everything would admit.  That said, our unwillingness to begin adulting and leave behind our childish ways is chronic.  It shows up in what we wear.   The readily is that too many adults act and dress as if childhood never ended. If you don't believe me, just listen to the conversations on social media, the popularity of the rude, crude, and semi-dangerous nature of our prank culture as evidenced on Tik Tok and such.  Look around you and not simply at Wal-Mart.  Pajamas, hoodies, worn out jeans, wrinkled khakis, sneakers, and way too many and way too inappropriate novelty tees have become standard dress — especially for men.  In other words, we as a culture no longer see the value in presenting ourselves as grown-ups. There was a time when people dressed to impress.  What you wore was meant to convey responsibility, discipline, solidity, adulthood, and self-respect. Today, comfort and irony carry the day and with it is our penchant for seeing ourselves, speaking like, acting as, and dressing like big children. 

The reality is that you cannot tell who is the teacher and who is the student in most high schools.  You have trouble finding out which person works at the retail environment you patronize and which are just consumers like you are.  The world laughs not at the people who are underdressed but at those who aver overdressed -- try showing up in a sport coat or shirt and tie for something supposedly business casual.  If I were only interested in condemning this practice, I would simply call us all slobs and let it go at that.  My interest here is in how this dress gives testament to our refusal to grow up at all.  There was a time when little girls dressed like their moms and little boys dressed like their dads -- complete with the formal wear they had witnessed in their parents.  Now it seems that moms dress up like their little girls and dads like their little boys because they refuse to grow up and be the adults they are supposed to be.  

We can travel with a back pack as luggage not because we have learned to travel light but because we wear the same thing everywhere.  Those who were in the generations before us wanted to look older, more mature, and as the accomplished individuals they sought to be.  So men of earlier generations dressed like adults because they wanted to be seen as grown-up and, even more, they wanted to BE grown up. The short pants of childhood gave way to the big boy clothes which signaled their transition from childhood into adulthood.   They polished their shoes, pressed their pants, tied their ties, put a handkerchief in their suit pocket, wore matching socks, etc...  They wore overcoats in rain or winter and galoshes on their shoes in bad weather.  Their fedora indicated they were serious, seriously mature, and wanted to be seen as such.  The clothes made the man and conveyed a sense of thoughtfulness, discipline, and responsibility.  When they packed up for a trip, they brought along these inconvenient markers because wherever they went they were projecting the same maturity of thought, speech, life, and work.  The same goes for women.

No more.  We have shrunk from responsibility like we have shrunk from in person interaction.  Give us work from home jobs where we don't every have to get up or grow up to show up in public.  Give us a way to be incognito and to hide away from responsibility as well as public view.  Let me put a radical thought out there.  If we started dressing up, maybe we would begin acting liked we look.  Adulthood is not a curse to be postponed but an outward sign of age, experience, maturity, and responsibility.  Perhaps we are not running to casual clothes at all but running away from duty and responsibility.  If it were only the clothing that would be one thing but along with it is sense of aspiration to be not the easy, self-indulgent, comfortable person but the responsible one.  We no longer want even to be God.  For that reason alone, we no longer dress up for anyone but me and we no longer need anything like religion to help us become anything more that what is easy and comfortable in the moment.