Unsocial meals. . .

Eating was once a most cherished social event.  You ate and drank with people.  You did not eat or drink alone.  It was that way so long I cannot point to its beginning and it has survived through all kinds of ruptures in our social fabric -- including wars.  But it is on the decline.  Oh, we still eat -- just not together and often from bags of food we pick up on our way home or have delivered to us in our solitude.  There is the state of things.  We tend to live rather solitary lives and it is evidenced in the one thing that is almost universally seen as a communal act, something shared with family and friends except when it is impossible.  Food is love, after all.  We all know that even if it is more in memory than in personal experience.

The food is not simply fuel needed for the body but an occasion for us to connect with others.  Babies receive not only the nourishment from their mothers but a life connection that is no less important than their mother's milk.  Meals tend to be the place where most conversations in the family take place.  Parents talk to each other and their children and children talk to their parents.  Questions are raised.  Interests explored.  Advice sought.  Encouragements given.  Information shared.  The communal state of the meals extend beyond the family table but the family table is the most central place where these things take place.  Eating is supposed to be a social act.  The fact that it is increasingly a solitary activity may illustrate why worship is also less a place where we are together than simply a place where we plug in to get what we need from what is offered.

If we no longer feel the need to eat together with family or friends, then the social dimension of worship is also probably something we no longer think we need.  Instead we want it brought to us.  Uber Eats may not deliver Word and Sacrament but it seems the online mirrors of what takes place in person in the sanctuary is doing just fine in bringing to us what we used to go together to get.  Indeed, the communal acts of speaking together the words of the liturgy and singing together the songs of the ordinary and the hymns of old are no longer as essential to our lives as Christians as they once were.  We seem to prefer listening to opening our mouths.  We have become spectators even at the meal that begs us to be there and to join in the eating and drinking.

Though never primary, Church was always a place for friendship and relationship.  Boys found prospective wives and girls found prospective husbands among those who gathered with them in the pews.  Families knew each other and supported and nurtured their sons and daughters as they began to form their own new families.  In days gone by people's lives and friendships were centered in the Church.  It was that way for me and it is still that way.  The deepest friendships of our lives revolve around the Church where I served for more than 32 years.  It is not that they are the only relationships we have but Church means friendships and relationships that extend beyond the pews.  Perhaps that no longer the case for some -- even for many.   There is something sad about this.  Tragic.  But there is also something wrong with this.  Our solitude is not healthy.  

Everyone knows how important family, friendships, and friendly relationships are to our physical and mental health.  If this is true for adults, it is true in spades for children.  Eating together around the dinner table with family, friends, co-workers, and acquaintances is important.  There is nothing more helpful to the social needs we have than an occasion in which we are gathered around a meal, lovingly prepared, with conversations as rich and fulfilling as the food itself.  We have chosen not to eat together and we have forgotten how to talk to each other.  It is no reason that we have problems.  For what it is worth, Uber Eats is experimenting with remote control deliveries which will further isolate us from one another.  Figures.