Making it all seem normal. . .

If you would have told me fifty years ago that I would have encountered members of my parish or circle of friends who had employed or were considering the use of a surrogate (or becoming a surrogate mother) I would have laughed in your face.  On the surface of it all, it was absurd.  Neither the technology nor the possibility had entered the mainstream.  Well, they have now.  As a pastor I have counseled and consoled families struggling with infertility who think that surrogacy is not only reasonable but moral and a good solution for those longing for a child they cannot conceive without the help of technology and a rented womb.  Now I have not only known but been assured by those carrying a child for a sibling or child unable to conceive that they are not only doing the right thing but the noble thing, the good thing, and the moral and loving thing to borrow out their womb for another family.  While in some cases this is simply the borrowing of the womb, in other cases it is loaning out considerably more -- namely eggs or sperm or both.  This issue will not go away and will become even more normal as technology advances and the Church fails to address it publicly.

Let me say for the record that I am not unsympathetic to the plight of the childless longing to have a child.  It has touched my family and we have suffered the pain not only of the longing but of the choice not to afford the extraordinary and extraordinarily costly and immoral consequences of IVF and surrogacy.  It is a subject close to home.  That is what makes this even more difficult.  The heart yearns to provide hope and a possibility to those whose desire for a child has not been fulfilled.  The reality of the adoption situation has also changed and it is not as simple as deciding to adopt.  The abundance of choices to prevent pregnancy and the availability of the morning after pill have done a remarkable job of reducing the numbers of infants and small children who might be adopted.  Not every family is able to support a child with deep emotional problems or disabilities or physical ills -- though I remain deeply moved by and impressed by those who are able.  The adoption situation today with its open process often means that economic factors prevent others from competing as prospective adoptive parents and the chances offered to the birth parents to change their mind are not without their own impact on the adoption option.  Further, the government has done a good job of taking the Church out of the whole process (unless they play by the government's rules) and this has also changed the lay of the land for adoption and those who might consider it.  So please do not say that I am insensitive or uncaring toward those who find surrogacy and IVF to be their best choice.  I am.  But no matter how compassionate one might be, a wrong is still a wrong and both surrogacy and IVF are wrong.

I think it is pretty clear where Rome stands on this and it is certainly abundantly clear where the LCMS stands on the same matters but I am not at all sure how well or how effectively either communicates these stands or the reasons why.  Protestants as a whole are divide on these issues or simply silent -- leaving the individual consciences to make the determination of what is moral, good, and right.  I think it is true that this may well become our own moment's Roe v. Wade issue and that we are at the beginning of what might become an equally long process of discernment, information, and education on the topics of IVF and surrogacy.  Roughly one in six adults now faces infertility, and congregants are hungry for guidance and the numbers will only increase.  Across the board, studies have found that pastors want and need additional resources to equip them to address these issues and fear they are without the ability to make a difference in the minds of their people on these issues.  It is also clear that the silence of the churches has been interpreted by many within the Church that there is no moral stand on IVF or surrogacy except to proceed with caution and to act with their own judgment.

Surrogacy and IVF are but a few of the major issues facing our people and the Church.  We will need to to equip pastors and church leaders, to offers solid theological resources on a range of topics: beginning and end of life, AI, IVF, surrogacy, egg and sperm donation, embryo adoption, contraception, and genetic testing.  For too long we have acted in the Church as if this was not happening in our own backyards or that such things were not common nor a threat.  We cannot afford such foolishness any longer.  The challenges have caught us unprepared and behind the times to catechize our people within these issues but we dare not bury our heads in the sand and waste more time.  Yesterday was too late but we will have lost tomorrow unless we take advantage of today.  The market driven aspects of surrogacy and IVF are exploding as those who wish to be single parents and same sex parents desire children.  No, we cannot afford to wait to talk about these things openly and from the vantage point of Scripture and the morality informed by God and not by our own feelings or whims.