Liturgy and beeswax... Pam and tanning lotion...

I needed the bikini for the physique competition at the Wisconsin State Fair. I started training the year before. I loved how strong it made me feel. Now I was about to compete in front of hundreds of people. The competition would be on a Sunday morning, a day I had requested off for “a personal enrichment experience.” I would not know many people in the crowd. No one from church would be there. Men and women would perform poses of “front double biceps,” “side triceps” and “back lat spread,” while at the other end of the exhibit hall, judges would award ribbons for apple pie and pickled beets. This was a wholesome environment; still, I knew I couldn’t share widely what I was doing. 

Those words were from a female Episcopalian "priest" who is also a body builder and was contemplating her competition in a bright red sequined bikini and its contrast with the white alb of her normal "priestly" attire...

Next she is "giddy" with excitement as she contemplates what she is about to do, and then reflects on the "posing" routine as somehow liturgical and churchly.

What about when a priest wears a bikini? What if she complicates the picture by having sizable biceps or well-defined lats? Can “buff” and “holy” go together? “Ripped” and “reverend”? If the “reverend” is a woman? On the day of the competition, when I put on the bikini, I felt almost giddy. The stealthy nature of my mission — to win the title of Ms. State Fair, with few people knowing I even entered — added to my excitement. Competitors hurried to do final preparations. We checked our makeup and did calisthenics to make our muscles stand out. We passed around spray cooking oil to give ourselves a thin coat.The competition started with the judges calling out poses. We performed them in unison. The similarities to liturgy stuck with me: in church, the smells of beeswax candles and furniture polish. Here: Pam and tanning lotion. In church: gestures called out by the celebrant (usually me). Here: poses called out by a judge.

One more reason I am relieved for my church body and its faithful decision not to ordain women.  Oh, to be sure, it is not because I think women are screwier than men.  It is just that we have enough screwball things being done by men in the office and I think it is a blessing of diminishing goofiness to stick with men only...

Ahhh, well, like a little wierdness is the worst thing we have to deal with in the church... Read it all here in the NY Times...  FWIW... I do not find male bodybuilders pleasing to the eye nor would I find a male Pastor Bodybuilder any less, well, goofy...