But Pastor, that's not who I am/we are. Well, of course it isn't but the funeral is not about you. And it was who your father/mother/aunt/uncle/etc. was. The funeral is, in part, testament to the faith confessed by those who die in the Lord. So maybe you get nothing from Scripture, the sturdy hymns of old, liturgy, and prayers, but this is the stuff of which you father/mother/aunt/uncle/etc. participated all during his/her life and even when communed at home/nursing home in these last few years.
But Pastor, we want something more personal, meaningful to us. Well, of course you do but the funeral is not about what is personal or meaningful but about the God who saw your father/mother/aunt/uncle/etc. dead in trespasses and sin and loved your father/mother/aunt/uncle/etc. enough to send His one and only Son to suffer, die, and rise so that your father/mother/aunt/uncle/etc. is not dead but lives to the Lord and so that the faithful may await the day when our Lord shall return in His glory for the grand reunion with your father/mother/aunt/uncle/etc...
But Pastor, we want something more upbeat. Well, of course you do but the funeral is not like instructions to a DJ about the tempo of the background music. It is about the only thing "upbeat" in death -- the promise of the resurrection of the dead to life everlasting. You may not like to confront death -- no one does -- but Christ has confronted it for us and by His dying He has killed it and by His rising again He has opened to us and all believers the door to everlasting life. If we can't talk about this, we have nothing at all to say in the face of death.
But Pastor, he/she loved __________ and sang it all the time so we want to have it sung at the
But Pastor, we want the casket to be open and the photo tribute to play on the screens while the
But Pastor, we don't want to talk much about baptism, we don't want to use the creed, and we don't want people with their heads in a book at the
But Pastor, you don't have to be there. We can get our own pastor to do the
And if you are reading this and thinking "Hmmmmm who will plan my funeral?" -- just do it with your pastor and take away all the questions and what ifs and leave your children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, friends, and neighbors a marvelous witness in death to the faith you confessed in life.