Thursday, December 26, 2019

Oddities unworthy. . .

Now I will be glad to admit that vestments have had a diverse history, especially among Lutherans, but. . .  There are boundaries of taste and decorum that should not have to be told.  Alas, it appears that some need to hear them.

Big Bag Albs -- You know what I mean.  These are those tent-like albs that have huge sleeves (big
enough to hide an acolyte in) and yards of fabric designed to do, well, what?  Hide girth?  Flow freely?  Get a decent alb proportioned to your height and weight and add a cincture.  Believe you me yards of flowing fabric makes no man look thinner.  It is just plain goofy.

High Water Albs -- Did you grow taller since seminary?  Then why is your alb mid-calf?  Talk about looking goofy.  If your wife would not let you out of the house with high water pants, then ditch the old alb and spend a few extra dollars to find one long enough to come to the top of your shoes.  By the way, try out the length WITH cincture since that pulls it up a bit.

Acolyte Cotta on Pastors -- If you wear a surplice (and why not!) then wear one what is fit for an adult male.  The surplice should ideally be nearly as long as an alb.  While some are a fan of the giant horn sleeves, that is personal preference.  But leave the waist length surplice to the acolyte to wear as a cotta (or boy choir!).

Unshined Shoes -- Get some shoe polish and shine those shoes.  This is God's house and holy ground and show a little attention to where you are.  As one lady reminded me, those at the rail look down and see your shoes.  Let them see shoes well cared for.  They need not be new but they ought to be shined.

Odd Vestment Combos -- So what got into you when you decided to wear your stole on the outside of the chasuble?  Not a good look.  Or what was the idea of wearing a stole without any other vestments?  Did that polo look like it needed an accessory?  Not appropriate.  Or what got into you to wear a cassock in the color of the season?  Not right on so many counts.  Or what was the idea of wearing a surplice without cassock?  Did you not get the memo?  They make albs now.  I could go on and on and on but the point is not to be novel or inventive but if you are wearing vestments, follow the informal rules of tradition.  They may not be uniform but they are more uniform than not.

Okay, I feel better now.  I hope you do, as well.  But if you don't perhaps you were hit by my rant.  Oops.   A little decorum in God's House is a good thing.  Oddities are unworthy of our service on behalf of the Lord to His beloved people.  You are not the center of it all.  So don't make your vestments a fashion choice.  If you want to display preference, ditch the vestments and look like any other evangelical wannabe with your faded and ripped jeans and tee or khakis and polo (perhaps dished up with your church's fancy logo!).

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